“You know, we should not be giving cash to people who basically are just going to blow it on drugs and not take care of their own children.” — Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).

Dear Sen. Orrin Hatch

My children are all grown up and doing as well as they can. As for myself, I haven’t done drugs since the early 70s. A rebellious thing of the 60s/70s, you know how it is. Well, maybe not. You seem like a pretty uptight, straight asshole to me, but what the hell, different strokes and all that.

I assume you receive a paycheck for your, er, services to the, er, people of this country. We are your boss, right? I mean, it is our tax dollars that pay your way, right? Anyway, I assume you receive a paycheck and are able to pay your bills on time. Well, guess what? I don’t. I’m one of those unemployed through no fault of mine. Indeed, I’d say it’s more your fault I’m unemployed than mine. You and your cronies are the ones handing millions to your friends on Wall Street and driving all the jobs over to third world countries.

Anyway, I also assume you like to eat. So do I. I like to keep the lights on, too. A little AC is nice in these hot climes. Laundry, too. Clean clothes are so important for that pointless job search. I say pointless since you and your cronies have all but killed any hope of a job.

Anyway, I was just wondering, since you seem to have your fingers on the pulse of the issue, just where do you think we unemployed are going to get the money for food and clothing and the other essentials a human needs to survive with you and your cronies cutting off the only lifeline we have left?

Yours in hoping you rot in hell
AnonyMoose

Will no one stand and scream that enough is enough? Jefferson would weep over what’s become of his beloved land. He would be on the front line of change, holding a banner high, making secret plans to overthrow a government that is no longer representative of its people.

I have no problem with Obama. I think he could be a good president, if it’s possible for any politician to be anything but a lying piece of shit out to fulfill his or her own personal agenda. He is young and idealistic and came up from the streets and you would think he might have acquired a clue along the way. It sure doesn’t seem that way. And none of those around him seem to have a clue either. Maybe they should step out of their protected door and ask the homeless, jobless guy walking down the street what’s up? He might give them an earful.

We need a WPA program, Barack. Remember FDR? What he did when the whole damn country was going down the toilet? He sent them out to every nook and quiet corner of this land. They built roads, bridges, rail lines. They wrote stories, took pictures, slapped paint on canvas. They rebuilt this place, rebuilt themselves, rebuilt their pride.

We are in shambles, Barack. We are hurting and divided and in need of guidance. Don’t be a political prick. Fuck the Republicans. Fuck the Democrats too. You’re the fucking president of this great nation. Do something.

And you can save your ‘Go EJ!’ ra-ras cause it ain’t like I really want to quit cigarettes. I enjoy my Nat Shermans. Nice clean tobacco without all the crappy additives, a light taste of mint, what’s not to like? And I’m not quiting because of the alleged health issues? Hell, if I were that concerned about health issues, I’d have to give up everything I eat, drink and breathe. Have you read the ingredients on the things you eat and drink lately? You damn near need a chemical dictionary to figure out what you stuffing down your throat. And what the hell is with all that high fructose corn syrup anyway? It’s in every damn thing on the shelf. What the hell is wrong with good old sugar? And salt! Do they even put salt in food anymore?

And what about the quality of the air you breathe? Planes, trains and automobiles oh my. I’d rather spend a day in a room full of smokers than an hour walking down any major thoroughfare. Nah, any health issues associated with cigarettes don’t bother me. Everything kills ya.

So, why am I quiting? Well, I hate to say it but Uncle Sam’s the cause. This last tax hike has just pushed the price way out of my range. Eight plus bucks for a pack of Nat’s finest? Sorry, but I don’t think so. And I’m damned if I’ll smoke those additive-ridden cheap things. Those additives are gonna kill ya faster than the tar and nicotine will. What with all these price hikes, it’s gotten to the point where the Nicoderm patch is cheaper so I guess I’ll just smoke through my skin.

Not that the patch isn’t a real pain in the nether regions itself. I have to go that route cause the gum is even worse. A taste like old sweat-socks. Pop one or two of those between the old teeth and my stomach begins to do flip-flops. The patch only makes my skin itch, my muscles ache, my ears ring and plays havoc with sleep. Can’t complain too much about the dreams, though. Like taking acid in your sleep. Weird and colorful.

It’s a damn good thing I haven’t turned into one of those snarling, craving beasts ready to snap the head off anything that comes too close. A real bitch bitch bitch, complain complain complain, kill kill kill, can’t find a good thing to say about anything kind of guy. Don’t ya just hate it when someone gets like that?

Oh, and you know another thing I hate about quitting? I hate that most everything stinks. Do you Nicotine Nazis actually get used to this smell? Yuck. I’m going to have to start carrying a nosegay or something. Won’t that do wonders for my image. As it is, I find myself following smokers cause, you know, that smoke sure does smell fine.

Technorati Tags: coffin nails, cigarettes, Nat Sherman, high fructose corn syrup, Nicoderm

And speaking of plugins, I managed to finally update the Birthday List to make it compatible with Wordpress 2+. What a chore that was, half the chore being just finding the time to do it. I beta tested it until my eyes began to melt and I think I got all the little wrinkles out. It’s here on the site and up at the Wordpress plugin database under Misc.

I also managed to start a short story though the deadline is a week away and, with starting a new job today, I’m a bit fearful I won’t finish it in time. Such is life, right?

Gotta run, the new job starts at 6AM, if you can believe that, and it’s coming up fast on 4:30.

Technorati Tags: Birthday List, Wordpress

Thank you for the submission of your manuscript. Though the work is skillfully crafted and the writing superb, I fear I must pass. Were this a work of Science Fiction, which I do not represent, it’s possible you could find a market but, as mainstream fiction, I fear it hasn’t a chance. The characters and plot line are simply implausible.

A presidential candidate, a former prisoner of war, who advocates war and torture? A female running mate with scant political experience, who’s proud to be a hockey-mom and has a husband who refers to himself as first dude? These characters are so unrealistic as to be absurd.

Further, although the economic structure of any country is complicated and in constant flux and, to be sure, there is a great deal of greed involved, the level to which your novel portrays the financial situation is simply beyond believability. A housing market in disarray, CEOs of failed companies being given millions in bonuses, major financial institutions failing, a 750 billion dollar bailout from the government that will only enhance the rich and leave the taxpayer with nothing? No one would believe such a scenario.

You are obviously a talented writer but your imagination may have gotten away from you on this one.

Please do keep me in mind for your next endeavor.

Sincerely,

Big Time Agent

C’mon, guys, give it a rest, will ya. You’ve been sucking the system dry for years, collecting your ridiculous salaries and obscene bonuses while running the companies into the ground. You walk away with millions and a whole lot of poor working folks end up losing what little they have and queuing up at the food line. Well, loath as I am to use a cliché, the chickens be coming home to roost.

You’re out there trying to scare us into thinking that our failure to support this staggering level of corporate welfare will somehow force the banks to stop lending which in turn could jeopardize company payrolls, car loans, mortgage loans, college loans, even, and I find this so absurd, cause people’s FICO scores to go down. Man, you all are getting desperate, huh?

Well, here’s a thought for ya: if people’s FICO scores are going to go down over this, why don’t we just really screw the scores and call a general strike: stop paying those mortgages, those auto and student loans, rip up those credit cards and toss the next credit card bill in the trash. We might go down but you’d go down with us and that, IMHO, would be cool.

I’ll be the first to admit I know little about economics but I do know this: If a bank loans me a dollar, that dollar is making money for the bank. If they don’t loan me that dollar, they make nothing. So please, don’t hand me your crap about financial collapse. If I don’t have the dollar, I’ll get by. Been poor a long time. I may not like it but I’m used to it. Are you?

This is High Noon, Shoot-out at the OK Corral. I just hope there are enough of us brave enough to stare you all down. By and by you’ll loan the money that needs to be loaned. After all, ya gotta pay the payments on those multiple dwellings you own and, you know, those high-end autos need a lot of maintenance, and jet fuel for the Lear, I mean, have you seen the cost of that stuff?

***

I just read an interesting article by Michael Moore: “The Rich Are Staging a Coup This Morning“. I think he may be on to something there. Hey, every despot who’s been forced out of office loots the treasury on the way out the door. Our despot is getting close to the end of his term. Sure looks like that’s what he’s doing here.

I am older now and supposedly wiser and I’d take old Tricky Dick back in a heartbeat. Jumpin’ Jackboots, Batman, there’s a plague loose across the land. Is this really America, the land of the free, home of the brave or have I, in my advancing addled state, fallen through some interdimensional crack into another reality?

First Dude? Are we seriously involved in an election where one side has picked a running mate who claims she’s proud to be a hockey mom and her husband refers to himself as First Dude? I swear, if I wrote a novel based around two such characters and circumstances, I’d be the laughing stock of every agent I sent it to. I could wallpaper a mansion with the rejection slips I’d garner. I mean, this scenario is beyond the pale of fiction. Stephen King couldn’t write this and get it published.

$750,000,000,000 to bail out a bunch of greedy, filthy rich, conscienceless, immoral assholes? People are losing their homes. The bridges in this country are falling apart. The roads are in severe disrepair. Our schools are hovels. Our children are being left way way way behind the rest of the world but lordy lordy can they take a test. We don’t have to jump on a plane and fly to Africa or South America to see a Third World country. All we need to do is walk out our door because that’s what we’re becoming. And I think those greedy, filthy rich, conscienceless, immoral assholes like that idea just fine.

$3,000,000,000,000 to blow up a country that was no threat to us just to kill a guy we supported when we thought we could use him. How many men and women, Iraqi and American, British and French and those from whatever other country foolish enough to involve themselves in Bush’s Folly, have died so Bush’s greedy, filthy rich, conscienceless, immoral asshole friends could line their pockets with weapon sales, reconstruction and oil money. And how many enemies have we made in the process. Bush’s Folly was perhaps the greatest incentive to join a terrorist organization ever inflicted on the world. We are going to be hated, HATED!, for a long, long time by people who have every right in the world to hate us. Way to go on winning those hearts and minds, W!

And where the fuck is the media when Johnny comes home in a body bag? Where is the media period? Bunch of fucking wimps. Freedom of the press my ass. We haven’t had freedom of the press since the Vietnam war. The powers that be learned a valuable lesson back then. Dumb down America, keep everyone scared and use the advertising dollar to effectively circumvent the First Amendment.

But there is a far bigger loss. Pogo said it, long ago, and it holds true today: We have met the enemy and he is us. Collectively we have more than enough anger and more than enough clout to bring these greedy, filthy rich, conscienceless, immoral assholes to their knees. But do we do anything about it? Do we take to the streets? Burn down the house? Refuse to buy their overpriced wares. Refuse to buy into lie after lie after bloody lie? No, we keep filling up our tanks and cheer when they scream ‘drill, baby, drill’ like that’s going to solve anything. Hate to break it to ya but if they started drilling today we wouldn’t see that crude make it to the pump for at least 10 years and by that time 4 bucks a gallon is going to seem really cheap. And here’s another little tid-bit for you to consider: We be running out of oil. Period. Gone. Nada. No more sticky goop.

We buy their genetically altered food, their hormone ridden milk, their overpriced goods and services, pay outrageous taxes and get nothing, NOTHING, in return. Our jobs are far from stable and if we get laid off we get squat, regardless of how conscientious we may have been. Some CEO totally screws a company, hundreds, thousands lose their jobs and he walks away with mega-millions in his pocket. We buy the politicos’ bullshit and vote for them only to be butt-fucked again and again and when the time comes round again for more lies, we buy into those all over again.

What the Fuck is wrong with this country and why is no one rising up to smite the greedy, filthy rich, conscienceless, immoral assholes that are running it into the ground.

This is definitely NOT my beautiful country.

Nor the sensibilities of anyone else, for that matter. In the same article linked above, it’s noted that Random House pulled a book about Mohammed for fear it would offend Muslims. If this keeps up, we’ll all be down to reading Dick and Jane books. No, wait, gender stereotypes. I’m sure that must offend someone so forget about Dick and Jane.

Man, the more I think about this, the more I see how far we could run with it. I say let’s don’t just pull them from the shelves, let’s have us a real ’save the world’s sensibilities’ book burning bonfire. We’ll be heroes!

We could start with all of Clive Cussler’s books cause I know for a fact they offend a friend of mine on Backspace. For myself, I would love to see all of James Patterson’s books burned because, really, they are all the same story over and over and I find his lack of creativity offensive. And I can’t be the only one who finds stories with long drawn out middles and no beginning or end offensive so pull Glimmer Train and other such post-modern literary mags off the shelf and toss them in the fire.

Might McCain supporters find Obama’s books offensive? Pull those puppies and burn em.

Ghosts, goblins, witches and warlocks, vampires even? We know these horribly satanic things offend some so off to the fire they go. Violence? Sex? Violence and Sex? Sex and Death? Death? Books about gays? Books about gays as normal, loving couples? OH MY! Burn baby burn and then superheat the ashes.

Mark Twain and Jon Clinch both used the *N* word in their respective books about Huckleberry Finn. I’m pretty sure that must offend someone so off to the bonfire with their work.

Richard Dawkins‘ book The God Delusion offended a whole lot of folks. Come to think of it, so does Dawkins himself, or so I’ve heard. Hell, throw em both on the fire.

I could go on and on but let’s face it, we already know it’s gonna be a tough job just as we know the job must be done. The really tough and important tasks in life are like that. And, as big and powerful as they are, it’s really too much and too important a job to leave to the likes of Wal-Mart and Random House alone. We’ve got lend our collective hand in this noble cause. We can start by burning down all the bookstores and public libraries, narrowing our objective to personal and private libraries once the larger objective is accomplished. We’ll remove all the people from harm first, of course. After all, these poor, misguided seekers of the written word know not what they do. We don’t want to hurt anyone. We’re just trying to save their delicate sensibilities.

Technorati Tags: Wal-mart, Random House, My Sister Jodie, Jacqueline Wilson, Barnes & Nobel, Mohammed, Muslims, Clive Cussler, James Patterson, Glimmer Train, McCain, Obama, Mark Twain, Jon Clinch, Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

But I have to say I’m thankful that I always knew the number of houses I owned, or more likely rented, at any given time.

Poor John McCain. Must be a real bitch not knowing how many houses you own. I mean, imagine the confusion that could cause. And think of the number of keys you’d have to carry around. I wonder if he color codes them?

Unlike the news media, which has pretty much ignored this, Barack Obama has been all over it. Not that it matters. This ain’t a pitch for Obama, though I’ll probably vote for him. Lesser of two blahs and all that. If he wins, it’ll just be more of the same old shit. A different texture, maybe, a different smell, but shit nevertheless.

As you might have noticed, I’ve grown a bit cynical about politics in this country. Hell, truth be told, I’ve been cynical about politics in this country since Nixon was king and for the most part the political theater of the absurd has gone down hill since. How can you tell when a politician is lying? Their lips are moving.

Have you ever wondered why movies like Dave or TV shows like West Wing were so popular? I think it’s because such shows portrayed politicians as people with integrity and honor, people who actually gave a rat’s ass about the folks they represented, and not just the ones with money. And I believe we want that, really want that. Pity those shows were only fantasies.

Is there no one in this country with the balls, real or metaphorical, who will stand up and say what’s really going on? That the rich keep getting the gold mine while the shrinking middle class get the shaft and the poor get the toxic sludge? That our government is more than willing to spend billions, trillions even, to destroy another country and rebuild it again, lining the pockets of their cronies along the way, while our own infrastructure goes to hell? That the educational system in this country has become little more than a joke? That families have to pay more and more for the basic necessities while CEOs are paid in the millions regardless of whether their companies fail or make huge profits? That these same families are in a constant state of fear over the loss of their job, the house they live in, having to decide which meal to skip, which bill won’t get paid should they or one of their kids get sick and have to see a doctor?

Is there no one in this country with the balls, real or metaphorical, who will stand up and actually do something about it?

Why do I have my doubts?

It’s the same old same old. Empires rise and fall and this one sure seems to be in decline. But then, it’s always been that way, hasn’t it, and I see nothing that makes me think this election is going to change anything. Regardless of who wins, we the people lose.

Technorati Tags: Detroit, California, John McCain, Barack Obama, Dave, West Wing

My second went a bit smoother. We lived together without benefit of legal formality for nearly two years, decided to do the nuptial thing and subsequently broke up less than a year later. I spent several months wearing out Bob Dylan’s If You See Her, Say Hello before she once again appeared on my doorstep. Looking back on it now, I think I was reluctant to start things up again. But I did. And it didn’t work. Less than four years later she was gone again.

My third? We never did the nuptial thing but the five years I spent with her, as chaotic as they were at times, were the best five years of my life. Losing her changed me in ways I could never have foreseen. I wish it would have worked out. But it didn’t. Life can be like that sometimes.

So why am I going on about this marriage thing? I’ve never been a big supporter of the institution of marriage nor have I been particularly opposed to it. I could say I’m not very good at it but would that be accurate? What I’m not very good at is a long-term relationship with a woman, with or without the formality of marriage, which has nothing to do with the actual institution of marriage. For me, living together or marrying are an either/or thing. If I lean in either direction, it would be more toward the living together side if only because there’s one less thing to deal with when the relationship comes apart.

Not everyone feels that way, of course.

83 year old Phyllis Lyon and 87 year old Del Martin don’t feel that way. They wanted to get married, have wanted to get married for a good number of years and did just that last week in my beloved San Francisco. I don’t know Phyllis or Del but their marriage brought a tear to my eye. I do know why it took them so long to get married. And I know why their first attempt at marriage four years ago failed. The law wouldn’t let them. You see, Phyllis is a woman and Del, well, she’s a woman too.

The institution of marriage has become something of a battleground of late and the battle heated up dramatically when, in a move that surprised more than a few folks, the California Supreme Court overturned the ban on same-sex marriages, opening the way for Phyllis and Del and thousands of other same-sex couples to finally have what I and the rest of the hetros so take for granted: a trip down the aisle or a few words before the judge and all the protections those actions afford.

The fundamentalists and the homophobes are going ballistic, of course. Oh me oh my these queers are gonna destroy the sanctity of marriage! Sanctity? What fucking sanctity? And what constitutes sanctity anyway? Love? Devotion? Read Paul Monette’s Borrowed Time and then come back and tell me it’s not possible for a man to love another man every bit as much and every bit as deeply as a man might love a woman.

Longevity then? Nah. Sure as hell can’t be that. ‘Divorced’ is as much a marital status today as ‘Single’ or ‘Married’. If longevity is part of what constitutes the sanctity of marriage, then Phyllis and Del have most hetros beat by a mile and a half. They’ve been partners for more than 50 years. Jim and Tammy, the ultimate evangelical, opposite-sex couple didn’t last that long before they divorced. And those 50 years of Phyllis’ and Del’s are 33 years longer than my three relationships combined.

The fundamentalists and the homophobes aren’t through yet. No such luck that the rapture will occur and rid us of their ilk. No, they’re gathering signatures to put a referendum on the next ballot, a referendum to amend the California constitution to ban gay marriage. I wish I could get enough signatures to put a referendum on the next ballot to ban them. As it is, all I can hope for is that the people of California do the right thing and shoot that referendum down in flames.

Technorati Tags: Phyllis Lyon, Del Martin, California Supreme Court, same-sex marriage, marriage, California, gay marriage