I don’t exactly have a positive history regarding long-term, marital type relationships. Been there, done that, three times, none of em worked. My first was open warfare, starting with the first salvo fired about an hour before we tied the proverbial knot and more or less ending with her stripping the house down to, and including, the dirty shag carpet five years later and carting it all off. She didn’t even leave me a pillowcase. Nor a pillow for that matter.

My second went a bit smoother. We lived together without benefit of legal formality for nearly two years, decided to do the nuptial thing and subsequently broke up less than a year later. I spent several months wearing out Bob Dylan’s If You See Her, Say Hello before she once again appeared on my doorstep. Looking back on it now, I think I was reluctant to start things up again. But I did. And it didn’t work. Less than four years later she was gone again.

My third? We never did the nuptial thing but the five years I spent with her, as chaotic as they were at times, were the best five years of my life. Losing her changed me in ways I could never have foreseen. I wish it would have worked out. But it didn’t. Life can be like that sometimes.

So why am I going on about this marriage thing? I’ve never been a big supporter of the institution of marriage nor have I been particularly opposed to it. I could say I’m not very good at it but would that be accurate? What I’m not very good at is a long-term relationship with a woman, with or without the formality of marriage, which has nothing to do with the actual institution of marriage. For me, living together or marrying are an either/or thing. If I lean in either direction, it would be more toward the living together side if only because there’s one less thing to deal with when the relationship comes apart.

Not everyone feels that way, of course.

83 year old Phyllis Lyon and 87 year old Del Martin don’t feel that way. They wanted to get married, have wanted to get married for a good number of years and did just that last week in my beloved San Francisco. I don’t know Phyllis or Del but their marriage brought a tear to my eye. I do know why it took them so long to get married. And I know why their first attempt at marriage four years ago failed. The law wouldn’t let them. You see, Phyllis is a woman and Del, well, she’s a woman too.

The institution of marriage has become something of a battleground of late and the battle heated up dramatically when, in a move that surprised more than a few folks, the California Supreme Court overturned the ban on same-sex marriages, opening the way for Phyllis and Del and thousands of other same-sex couples to finally have what I and the rest of the hetros so take for granted: a trip down the aisle or a few words before the judge and all the protections those actions afford.

The fundamentalists and the homophobes are going ballistic, of course. Oh me oh my these queers are gonna destroy the sanctity of marriage! Sanctity? What fucking sanctity? And what constitutes sanctity anyway? Love? Devotion? Read Paul Monette’s Borrowed Time and then come back and tell me it’s not possible for a man to love another man every bit as much and every bit as deeply as a man might love a woman.

Longevity then? Nah. Sure as hell can’t be that. ‘Divorced’ is as much a marital status today as ‘Single’ or ‘Married’. If longevity is part of what constitutes the sanctity of marriage, then Phyllis and Del have most hetros beat by a mile and a half. They’ve been partners for more than 50 years. Jim and Tammy, the ultimate evangelical, opposite-sex couple didn’t last that long before they divorced. And those 50 years of Phyllis’ and Del’s are 33 years longer than my three relationships combined.

The fundamentalists and the homophobes aren’t through yet. No such luck that the rapture will occur and rid us of their ilk. No, they’re gathering signatures to put a referendum on the next ballot, a referendum to amend the California constitution to ban gay marriage. I wish I could get enough signatures to put a referendum on the next ballot to ban them. As it is, all I can hope for is that the people of California do the right thing and shoot that referendum down in flames.

Technorati Tags: Phyllis Lyon, Del Martin, California Supreme Court, same-sex marriage, marriage, California, gay marriage

Here’s a little something to think about as you start your work week, provided, of course, you’re lucky enough to have a job. Sorry if this bums you out. Actually, I’d prefer it if it pissed you off. It should.

As most everyone not hiding under a rock is already aware, gas prices, food prices and unemployment are rising. A good many folks out there are losing their homes and those that ain’t are finding they owe more for their house than it’s worth. Ditto this last for the SUV owner but I can’t be real sympathetic toward that bunch. Bummer the Hummer. Credit card interest is rising and most Americans are all but buried in credit card debt. We’re involved in a costly, pointless war while the infrastructure in this country deteriorates, the homeless population rises, the number of folks receiving food stamps is increasing and our schools are seeing drastic cuts in their budgets.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, BP reported a 63 percent surge in first quarter net profit to $7.6 billion. Royal Dutch Shell posted a 25 percent increase to $9.1 billion. ConocoPhillips reported a 16 percent rise in net income to $4.1 billion. Exxon’s profits were up 17% while Chevron earned a hefty first-quarter profit of $5.17 billion.

In the midst of the mortgage meltdown, Charles Prince, former CEO of Citigroup Inc., Stanley O’Neal, former CEO of Merrill Lynch & Co. and Angelo Mozilo., chief executive of Countrywide Financial Corp made a whopping $460 million in compensation and severance packages. G. Kennedy Thompson, the recently ousted CEO of Wachovia, will receive an $8.7 million “here’s your hat what’s your hurry” package.

While food prices soar, Monsanto reported that its net income for the three months to the end of February 2008 had more than doubled over the same period last year, from $543 million to $1.12 billion. Its profits increased from $1.44 billion to $2.22 billion. Cargill’s net earnings soared by 86 per cent from $553 million to $1.030 billion over the same three months while Archer Daniels Midland, one of the world’s largest agricultural processors of soy, corn and wheat, increased its net earnings by 42 per cent in the first three months of this year from $363 million to $517 million.

While food stamp use rises and the average human’s spending power decreases, in the ten years between 1995 and 2005, CEO pay rose 298.2%, corporate profits rose by 106.7% while the average worker’s pay rose by a puny 4.3%.

If you are not outrageously angry, you are not paying attention.

Technorati Tags: BP, Royal Dutch Shell, ConocoPhillips, Exxon, Chevron, mortgage meltdown, Charles Prince, Citigroup, Stanley O’Neal, Merrill Lynch, Angelo Mozilo, Countrywide Financial, G. Kennedy Thompson, Wachovia, Monsanto, Cargill, Archer Daniels Midland, CEO pay

Not meaning to sound like Eeyore but here I finally manage to get back on the net after an overlong hiatus and the data center where my site is located is taken down by a fire and explosion. Sort of blew my plans for the weekend. Sort of blew the plans of a lot of folks, I imagine, including anyone wanting to check Statcounter since they’re hosted there as well.

Oh well, such is life. It’s Monday now, here in ABQ, and the beast that supplies the money to pay the bills is calling so this first post will be short.

More later.